"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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