Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
