Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
