i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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