that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
