do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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