I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
