I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
That accounts for only three of the penises
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize