The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Dear god my vagina.
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