My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize