i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
