Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
