is your mom at the bar?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
