At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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