obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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