make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
