i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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