my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
