its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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