pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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