ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I take back everything I said about communal showers
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
