we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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