She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
