i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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