i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
