I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
