Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize