I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Gay?
German.
Pity.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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