Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
