after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
