She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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