on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
