First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
