And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
