I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Randomize
