Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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