Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
