Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
