i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He better not be in your backpack
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize