3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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