Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
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