My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
