She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
