You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
