Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
