If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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