glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
