Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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