bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize