It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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