It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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