me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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