maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
and you fell through a lawn chair
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
