I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
