I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
