If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize